Wednesday, November 16, 2005


.

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LAST NIGHT
ON
TV

I swear....last night's TV was like watching the abuses of
Sodom, Gomorrah, and God.

Since all 3 channels were next to each other and I was sure that watching any one of them exclusively would make me slightly miserable, I switched back and forth between all 3 of them and became totally miserable.

ONE was an annual Country Music award thing that (have you noticed?) seems to be happening every other month now and on which all performers, whether playing for entertainment purposes or being awarded best-of-whatever, were an absolute, total disaster void of talent. Featured ad nauseum, was that chiefette-void-of-talent Faith Hill, the abusive-as-hell marital partner to Tim McGraw, whose once-madly-successful career she's in the process of annihilating by having hijacked it to promote her own puny abilities.

TWO was an annual Vibe award thing in which everybody but Mariah Carrey looked and acted like they'd just come off a slaveship from Nigeria, and all the women were dressed like ho's and all the men were jumping around like the void-of-talent and abusive-as-all-hell, gangsta-rap-thugs they are.

THREE was God in the form of Dr. Phil, who was
continually -- and extremely abusively -- shouting into the
3-inches-away-from-his, tear-soaked faces of a bunch of ex-wives whose husbands had committed the ultimate abuse, according to Dr. Phil and his own, always smiling now-wife (whom he was trying to impress with this performance), by leaving them (those women) just when they'd turned 50 and were too old to do laundry or be otherwise resuscitated for another man.

Well....yes...so there I was, switching from ONE to TWO to THREE and not wanting to see anything that was happening on any of them, really, so I'd once in a while go through all
72 channels of shit on my tv to
CHOOSE FROM.......... CHOOSE FROM.......... CHOOSE FROM.............
and then, blissfully.........I fell asleep and dreamt that I was redesigning television programs.........and when I woke up again it was 4 in the morning and all the award ceremonies and all the Dr. Phil shoutfests were gone forever, and I went online and read some blogs and discovered that
the EU--UN spooks in Tunisia have
failed to steal the Internet away from us and then I smiled and
whisper-shouted "Yeah" with my fist in the air, and felt like
a normal human being again.

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